Let Me Just Say This...

Dear Dearest Darling Wendi,

                I write this wholeheartedly to you with a faint smile sprawled on my lips and dreamy fantasies fluttering the depths of my mind. I write this hoping not sound like a hopeless romantic or a crazed stalker girlfriend, though truthfully I’m not far from that reality. I write this just to say, ‘I love you’ as I giggle stupidly while butterflies fill my stomach and my heart begins to beat faster and faster. And it’s those symptoms that let me know that I really am infatuated with you. From when, I cannot recall and why? I couldn’t say.

But why a love letter and not simply speak what I’m thinking?

Simply because waiting half an hour to spare feelings I may or may not hurt with my overall bluntness and naïve obliviousness is half an hour too much. So I’ve written instead, using my articulate vocabulary and poetic-like grace to recapture your heart, that I beg and pray never falls outta love with me.  (That and I can always censor what I type, but not what I say.)

One last thing; I decided every word I erase will be scratched out for you to see what prior thoughts I had before I thought them to be irreverent or too embarrassing.

So now I begin.

Dear Dearest Darling Wendi,

                I bring you back to the night I foolishly tried to end a good thing cast you away from my presence.

My eyes drew saltwater in the cold forlorn space of my bedroom; aside from my roommate’s looming company. While fingers danced and repeated ‘leave me’, ‘end this’ ‘break up with me’ via text messaging, I cried silently hoping for more than obedient replies. I wished for you to chase me. I wished to be someone you were passionate over; like a possession to be owned.

 And while crying I thought out loud so solemnly, having soliloquy after soliloquy, that somewhere in time, you might have stopped loving me and I begun to love you more.

So when you ran, I chased, desperately trying to keep you with me.

And baby, know it hurts But know I like the pain to do the chasing when that’s all you want is to be chased.

But how could I even be mad? I forced so much on you already.
You’ve agreed. You’ve said so yourself.

I’m so needy. I’m so pathetic.  I always classify those two words together; needy and pathetic. Just thought I’d write that down. But the truth is, I need you so much. I really do.

And an even bigger truth is, when I pretend that our future has travel beyond the label of high school sweethearts and life has come down to just the two of us, and we’re together; I see that for the both of us. I cannot image this with anyone else. Aside from that one confused thought that strayed. And it makes me think; ‘you are who my red thread is attached to.’

So of course I was furious that one time, when you said you didn’t want to marry me. And I swallowed down a peculiar lump in my throat and only pouted. Well, until I let my thoughts wonder and they could no longer see that often thought about life with just us. That thought was my happy place. I felt distraught. What’s the point of going out if there is not future goal. No ending?

 And again it came to the alligator tears and tapping on my fingers on the screen of my mobile device. But this time, I consulted a friend.

And her words were, and as brutal as they were: ‘I don’t see you two together anyways. You and she were just a high school phase.’

I dislike when people say those things to me. When they tell me I should leave you, tell me I could be happier, and tell me to give up. They couldn’t possibly know how impressionable and suggestible I am.

They don’t understand the way you brighten my whole entire day when I wake up to a text saying ‘good night’, from when I fell asleep the night before. They don’t understand that I am always thinking of you, always wanting to be near you and around you. They don’t get that I am my happiest when I get to touch you or even how I much long for you.

 I’m such a love sick puppy. I often feel foolish to be filled with such feelings. They’re so alien, exotic and new.  Mostly because I don’t think we share the same feelings.

And now I know how one-sided it is. And my doubts grow so strong that you really will move on, but my admiration and feelings grow strong as well. But my heart dares to dream.

Haphazardly, I’ve been called stoic.  

“The difficulty with stoicism is that you don't move with the world as easily as others do. The world changes around you. People come and go, opportunities present themselves, but for the most part you'll be content with what you've got. That can be good for a while, but it's kind of dangerous.”

I’ve been told that the reason I can’t see myself with anyone else is because I’m stoic. As explained above. And I think maybe I am. But what’s wrong with that?

So baby, I’ve written you this, call it my extra dramatic love letter of doubt, but a love letter it still is. I love you, dear, I really love you. And maybe forever I’ll still chase you. Right until the moment, you stop, turn around and catch me.

Forever yours,

I Can't Get It Up!

I woke up, less than two and a half hours before work and with what little time I had, I turned my 'defective at the moment' laptop, April on and started checking emails and surfing the interwebz. Needless to say, I managed to catch Cosplay Fever and couldn't focus. All I could think about is, 'I need that camera I want so bad.' So that I could take pictures of me being so super badass with my badassery.
But it was as I was thinking about cosplay and anime and camera... I remembered the sailor moon tutorial I was suppose to upload, so by the end of this day, it shall be posted. The End.

Peace.

One Whole Year (Anime North 2011)

I cannot fathom how one year has managed to go by this rapidly. To think that the brief reminder of Anime North is what reminds me. All those dreams and goals I sought to accomplish have yet to be reached. It is the maximum of disappointments. And here I stand, a changed man. The things that troubled me, the things I fought to obtain have been crushed and Anime North marks that a year has swept by.

One year ago I dreamed of making a low budget movie with a a $5,000.00 HDR-FX1000 HDV Handycam #174 Camcorder (or any really good professional camcorder.) going to a university aboard, getting rollar blades and ice skates, an external harddrive, a graphic tablet and fabric. I also wanted to work out and better my body shape.

In one year I bought rollar blades that hurt my ankles, enrolled in night school at a prestigious college that frustrates me beyond belief, bought a graphic tablet that I rarely use and joined TaeKwonDo.
I did manage to get a part time job with hopes of making some serious money.
In one year I went through heartbreak, experienced first hand how love can change you, had a soliloquy and went through a phase. In one year I got back together with my girlfriend and mostly returned to normal.

For me, not a whole lot has happened and this convention marks a year of a wasted life. I cannot believe it's been one whole year.

Mitchell A. Burton.
I make a promise to better myself.

Sailor wth Moon

If the title of this blog wasn't enough to give you a proper assumption of what this post is about; nothing, aside from reading the entire thing, will.

Anime North 2011 is coming up and so far I've survived a whole 'nother year long enough to make it to this anime convention.
I've decided that this time I will cosplay and in fact; I have bought material needed to make a from scratch sailor moon cosplay.

Possibly, tutorials, how to's and videos will be created, I'm not 100% sure yet. I mean, I've searched online for patterns and how to's and I had no luck. Maybe I should follow in the interweb foot steps and be an ass and not show you how to create your own...

Mitchell Burton: A Weekend of Firsts

Mitchell Burton: fA

A Weekend of Firsts

What can I say that probably hasn't been said?

Let's start with the first of all firsts!

I went to my fucking first Furry Convention (Held at the Double Tree Hotel) thanks to my lovely and overly friendly (a polite way of saying flirtatious) girlfriend; aka my roomie and Red Velvet.
And it was the most awesome thing I have ever experienced.
The people I've socialized with were the most amazing people to ever talk to, incidentally, the most hyper and colorful lot as well. I felt like I could be me, speak continiously, be honest and get distracted easily and be accepted. That was the number one reason this con was so well done.
However, at times, I did feel out of place, and that was only because as a complete n00bie to cons and furries in general; I had no idea who people like Zen, Blindsight and Kitty were and hearing their names spoken so commonly made me go o_O? at most parts. But that's where the friendly furries are reintroduced, as they pointed guest speakers out, or even gave me websites to stalk mentioned names at. I thank you for this once again. And it is because of this that I have created this FA account. I hope I do justice with it.

My accommodations at the hotel was set up by my roomie were notwithstanding. Another first. (Never stayed in a hotel with friends and not family.) Now hear me out about the notwithstandings. We shared a room with two other guests, Benjamin Wolf and Shadow Kitty and they were fun to hang around~
However, housekeeping needs to step their game up and not leave notes about not cleaning our room. I didn't leave my house to make messes in public places to not have maids not do their paid to do jobs. Cookies were fucking delicious. That's how they get you.

I may have come off as a easily exhausted lazy ass, but I want to clarify that I didn't eat when I was seen. So in order to keep my energy up I needed to be moving or drinking water or doing something entertaining. And now you know. And knowing is half the battle motherfuckers.

I drank too. Another first. I have one cup of lemonaid vodka mix and got tipsy. I have no tolerance or countenance. I was told I should see a doctor...

I'm throwing in my two cents about the games room. Holy fuck. Yes! Do that more. I had so much fun talking to others and playing games. Thanks to that I'm gonna buy Bloody Roar 4, Left 4 Dead 2, RockBand and Marvel vs Capcon. Yes! Reminding you who I am, I was the one singing or screwing up on Guitar or banging the drums. I have three new favorite songs.

I come to the raves now.
I dance like a crazy acid taking bitch and we know those on the dance floor loved it. You need at least one crazy, right?
The DJs rocked. End of story. If I praise them, their egos will swell and they'll become jerks. (cyberwulfe)

The fursuits were all so expertly made and proudly worn. The heads worn were worn with confidence; I make not a ridiculous or megalomanicial claim. Those who were there saw that and those who weren't cannot begin to fathom. It also blew my mind how many people made their own suits and heads and I just had to get emails for skype or msn tutorials. I am formative to make one. Believe me. But now I rant. In fact everything about this con was so good that I swear I cannot write anything quintessential to what this con was. So I give up. (I'm the best writer ever!)

I must come to a close.

In conclusion. Best thing ever. Next year is a definite thing. I hope my dreams of going to the convention in Montreal becomes a reality.


O yeah, I apologize in advance for my rather colorful language. I swear. I like to swear. I probably break rules.

I'm bored with this journal now.
Love you babe.
Peace!

Dude, Why Do I Bother to Try?

So I finally got a graphic tablet. I like it so far, I've got no complaints, though I wish I had a program to use with it. I'm working on getting cs3. I had it before, but I managed to lose the disc. I tend to misplace things like a rich chick missing her diamonds.

On a zombierific note; I have anger issues! I'm being serious here. I have anger issues so big, it's bigger than the love a rich chick has for her diamonds and that's huge! I should probably seek professional help, but I haven't 'hurt' anybody yet, so why spend money?